"Curb your brats"

[spladyhawke]

What do you think about this article?

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/07/05/granderson.bratty.kids/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

[howardvm]

Whatever. That guy always has opinions. While I don't necessarily condone my child (and soon children when he's able) to run around restaurants and whatnot, and I do get embarassed sometimes by their actions, and I do have to repeat myself to get her to do things, it doesn't mean I don't "discipline" my child at home, because I do. However, she can be high-spirited and not necessarily listen to me the first time, or 10 or 20 times, I ask her not to do something. And, I do totally both empathize and sympathize when I see another parent on a plane, in a store, etc who has a child not listening even though they are repeating themselves, watching the parents get red with embarassment, because its happened to me too and I know what it feels like.

[Lynette]

I was *just* reading this. Honestly, when it was only Salina I would have wholeheartedly agreed. She was easy and still to this day will shut her mouth when I give her The Look. I used to think all the other parents with bratty kids that ran amok just sucked and I was a better parent than them.

I was wrong. Salina was just an easy kid. Alaina is not an easy kid. Whether it is her personality, her life experiences, her anxiety, or some as of yet undiagnosed issue going on, to say she is a handful is an understatement. I am constantly having to juggle her moods, how I interact with her, chosing my words carefully, having to redirect to get her to do the right thing or what I want her to do and shaping our lives to mold to whether or not she can handle a particular outing, errand, or interaction. I feel like I am constantly nagging or correcting her. And when she explodes, everyone looks at me as the cause. I have been told to my face by several people at her school that "permissive parenting" is the reason Alaina is the way she is and yet I am the same person who raised one easy going, even tempered, polite, kid with self-control to adulthood without a hitch :dunno

Although I completely agree some kids need discipline and am often guilty of the occasional judgement about a parent's abilities, I know that I was wrong before in thinking I was the sole reason Salina never saw the inside of the principal's office and now will look at a situation a little more open-mindedly wondering if the kid has something going that I don't know about.

[Lorah]

I was *just* reading this. Honestly, when it was only Salina I would have wholeheartedly agreed. She was easy and still to this day will shut her mouth when I give her The Look. I used to think all the other parents with bratty kids that ran amok just sucked and I was a better parent than them.

I was wrong. Salina was just an easy kid. Alaina is not an easy kid. Whether it is her personality, her life experiences, her anxiety, or some as of yet undiagnosed issue going on, to say she is a handful is an understatement. I am constantly having to juggle her moods, how I interact with her, chosing my words carefully, having to redirect to get her to do the right thing or what I want her to do and shaping our lives to mold to whether or not she can handle a particular outing, errand, or interaction. I feel like I am constantly nagging or correcting her. And when she explodes, everyone looks at me as the cause. I have been told to my face by several people at her school that "permissive parenting" is the reason Alaina is the way she is and yet I am the same person who raised one easy going, even tempered, polite, kid with self-control to adulthood without a hitch :dunno

Although I completely agree some kids need discipline and am often guilty of the occasional judgement about a parent's abilities, I know that I was wrong before in thinking I was the sole reason Salina never saw the inside of the principal's office and now will look at a situation a little more open-mindedly wondering if the kid has something going that I don't know about.

:yeah

Mav was pretty easy in comparison. Noelle ... O.M.G.

[surmick]

The dude does not have kids and is young... It is always easier to talk about something you know nothing about.

[spladyhawke]

I think he does have kids. Somewhere he says something like "As a parent, I can relate..." I think it's towards the end of the article. I'd also like to know what he considers a "brat." He never really defines that.

[erobertson]

I have problems with permissive parenting. Yes, kids can be difficult. I have compassion in that arena. Where I have a problem is when parents let their kids completely run amok in environments where it is not appropriate. Also, many parents set their kids up for difficulty. If you know your kid has difficulty in crowded restaurants for example, do some hard playing before hand or take them outside and go for a walk until the food comes. As parents we have to make sacrifices, we don't always get to do what we want.

[lornabrown]

I'm okay with a lot of what he says. It's just his opinion. We know the difference between having a bad day or outing vs. ongoing lack of discipline. Just because a child is melting down doesn't mean they are unruly all the time.

I agree that you do have to have "the Look", although mine doesn't seem too effective lately :giggle
I also understand completely about how parents will repeat themselves dozens of times with no reaction from the child. I see this often in the program I run. The parenting class instructor really enforced that kids need to be spoken to at arms length, with eye contact and then we help them follow through with instruction.
Since I've told my daughter 10 times to get to bed, I guess I have to get off the computer and help her. Uggg.

[spladyhawke]

Since I've told my daughter 10 times to get to bed, I guess I have to get off the computer and help her. Uggg.

:giggle I know that kind of feeling!

I was at Olive Garden last night and was thinking about this article. Proud to say Eamonn didn't try to get out of his chair and run around the restaurant! He was still saying "no" repeatedly at a "loud but not shouting" level. Not sure what was up with that... Still, I didn't consider it overly bratty since it wasn't a shout, whine, or annoying demand - more of a "I want to make some sort of noise." Hopefully other people agreed with me! :)

[Lynette]

:giggle I know that kind of feeling!

I was at Olive Garden last night and was thinking about this article. Proud to say Eamonn didn't try to get out of his chair and run around the restaurant! He was still saying "no" repeatedly at a "loud but not shouting" level. Not sure what was up with that... Still, I didn't consider it overly bratty since it wasn't a shout, whine, or annoying demand - more of a "I want to make some sort of noise." Hopefully other people agreed with me! :)

And I think that is one of the problems with the article, its up to someone else's judgement as to what they consider poor behavior. You could have had one table on side that thought he was an angel and one on the other side who was talking trash all through dinner about people who should leave their brats at home. There is no pleasing everyone.

[surmick]

And I think that is one of the problems with the article, its up to someone else's judgement as to what they consider poor behavior. You could have had one table on side that thought he was an angel and one on the other side who was talking trash all through dinner about people who should leave their brats at home. There is no pleasing everyone.

Which is why I gave up on pleasing anyone!

I do have to admit that I err on the side that everyone finds my kid annoying and only after maybe some reassurance from the person she is bugging do I let her just be her. And let me clarify she is not the kid that is running around screaming, she is the kid that has decided to sit down with you and wants to know, "what you are eating and that she does not use the potty because she is in diapers and that once she uses the potty she will get a puppy and did you want to see her diaper? and Mommy is over there with daddy and they are going to Texas to see Nana and Papa and the baby goats, do you have baby goats? I like baby goats. Mommy had a baby in her tummy but not anymore. I don't have a baby in my tummy, do you have a baby in your tummy, can i rub your tummy? It's a big belly like mommies. etc. "

[erobertson]

I love the sample Amelia chatter. I have so many students like that.

[spladyhawke]

Which is why I gave up on pleasing anyone!

I do have to admit that I err on the side that everyone finds my kid annoying and only after maybe some reassurance from the person she is bugging do I let her just be her. And let me clarify she is not the kid that is running around screaming, she is the kid that has decided to sit down with you and wants to know, "what you are eating and that she does not use the potty because she is in diapers and that once she uses the potty she will get a puppy and did you want to see her diaper? and Mommy is over there with daddy and they are going to Texas to see Nana and Papa and the baby goats, do you have baby goats? I like baby goats. Mommy had a baby in her tummy but not anymore. I don't have a baby in my tummy, do you have a baby in your tummy, can i rub your tummy? It's a big belly like mommies. etc. "

:lol