Kid for FREE! [Archive] - Sonoma County Moms

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Lynette
07-14-2006, 08:59 PM
I am offering a 13 year old PMSing girl for FREE! That's right, you can have your very own bitchy, moody, pain in the butt, know everything teenage girl all for the cost of the gas it takes to drive by my house and pick her up. Shoot, I will even give you gas money!

She knows how to:

Vaccuum, sweep, and mop floors
Change, bath, feed, and watch a baby
Clean up dog poop, feed dogs, give them baths
Scrub toilets, clean sinks and mirrors
Put away dishes
Make simple meals
Do laundry and put away clothes

Of course you have to figure out how to actually get her to do things but I am sure it will work out fine.

You only have to:

Feed her
Clothe her
Entertain her
Provide her with a phone, modem, and computer
Give her everything she asks for the moment she asks for it
Not expect her to pick up after herself
Allow her to play the "I'm ONLY a kid!" card whenever it suits her otherwise she knows everything
Defer to her all-knowing wisdom since anyone in a parental role is obviously a blithering idiot.

Now in anticipation of the overwhelming response to this heck of a bargain I think I will need to form a kind of lottery to determine who the lucky winner is so send your inquiries soon! Don't let this opportunity get away!!!

Lindsay
07-14-2006, 09:06 PM
I'll pass :lol

lmfike
07-14-2006, 09:19 PM
I'll pass too. I have one of my own plus a 8 yr old boy who antagonizes her constantly.

LMS
07-14-2006, 09:34 PM
omg, LOL. NO THANKS

Mom of 2
07-14-2006, 10:20 PM
No thanks. Good Luck

Kate
Mom to Patty and Tyler

Lynette
07-15-2006, 12:15 AM
Hmmm....I will have to try Craigslist then....or Freecycle?!

Lorrie- I have a little brother, I thought for sure we were going to send our mom to the loony bin we bickered so much :) So close!

jellybeanmichelle
07-15-2006, 10:01 PM
You can stick her with my 17 yr old sister.
They would get along great!

dacotahsgirl
07-17-2006, 06:32 PM
HA HA HA!! You are too funny!! I already have a MOODY (soon to be 17 yr old) boy on my hands!!! HA!!!!!!!!!!

daisydoc
07-17-2006, 10:19 PM
:biglaugh You're too funny Lynette! Having a hard day are we!?!?! :) Hope it gets better!

Lynette
07-17-2006, 11:04 PM
You know, it is funny how when they are little they hang on your every word and then they start to catch on that maybe mom and dad don't know everything and then one day, you are a complete and utter moron! LOL! She just doesn't know when to shut her mouth, she digs herself in deeper and deeper with her snarky comments and then says, "I don't know what you are talking about!" Funny thing is, when my parents told me to lose the attitude at that age I didn't know what they were talking about either...

Where is the fast forward button on these teenagers?!

daisydoc
07-17-2006, 11:06 PM
Where is the fast forward button on these teenagers?!


I don't know... but if you find it pass it along to the rest of us so when ours get that age we can use it too! LOL :)

Lynette
07-17-2006, 11:33 PM
LOL! I used to kid with a friend about the fast forward button but she says a mute button might be more useful for ALL ages!

daisydoc
07-18-2006, 03:15 PM
I would LOVE a mute button!!! Not having to listen to "no.... mine" all day would be a dream come true! LOL